it's getting late at night
still have for FYP meeting tomorrow
but i just can't close my eyes
and fall asleep
lots of stuff was in my head

i made a decision today
something i feel proud of
and believe i will not regret
i decided to forgive
to let go of the past
and learn to trust once again
i have blamed, complained and cried
now it's time for me to let go

disturbed Joachim again today
like whats new
maybe i went a little over board
but his message really touched me
"i know in this short time
you've been there for me.
i'm grateful" - Joachim Tan
that moment, i was lost of words
but i have to admit
it felt really good to be appreciated

oh and Joell
please stop saying that you are stupid
cause you are not
just abit slow, thats all

something's telling me to write this down
kinda look like Joachim after a long day...




Location d'Espoir -
when life is hard
payday is still so far away
and when the salary comes
is not enough
there is only one thing to do
RELAX

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
11:44 PM

went East Coast to help Cam book his chalet
damn long bus journey there
and i slept my way through
had a good rest indeed

Joachim's having his usual mood swings again
at least he went home smiling
i'll take credits for that.. haha
must be the Tim Sum we had for dinner
and the durians he craved for since days back

skyping was fun
so were the lame riddles we shared
could do this all day long
oh here's one
"whats in centuries, months, minutes and seconds
but not in decades, years and hours?"
tell you the answer next post =D



Espoir d'Location -
if everyone is against you
it means that you are absolutely wrong
...or absolutely right

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
11:46 PM

i'm wondering whether there's a limit
to how much bad news we can have one day
be it to me to or people around me
because at the end of the day
i'm sure all we want to have
is an enjoyable day ahead

have been doing alot of adjusting recently
lifestyle, my thoughts, feelings
at least now i'm feeling better
no worries everyone
i will not commit suicide one

"there's always a bright side to everything"
i would love to agree to it
but Joell said it so erm...

went prawning today at Joell's work place
with Joachim and Rachel joining us later
was really boring initially
when i couldn't catch any
but as the prawns came
haha thats where the fun started
actually i enjoyed disturbing Joachim more
ok he's gonna kill me now



Location d'Espoir -
there's always a bright side to everything

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
11:26 PM

i found a feeling worst than any breakups
i found a pain worst than any car accident
i found a sorrow worst than any bottomless pit
i found a truth that never wish been told

if standing between 2 person
means i'm sandwiched in the middle
what make me that now
i'm standing between sandwiches?

someone i trusted most lied to me
and someone i treasure most told me the truth
but neither made me happy
instead, they brought me down into my greatest pit falls

i'll admit
i cried...
so badly yet secretly
i left the house
running and crying at the same time
i took a shower
but the tears never stopped

i wanted to control
but i wouldn't be true to myself
i wanted to hold back
but i was hurt too deep
i took pity on myself
so i cried...

nothing can be said or done
to bring things back to where they were
i've gonna afraid
i need to protect myself too
i'm sorry, really sorry...



Location d'Espoir -
it hurt when you lied
it hurt even more when the truth was made known
but what hurt most and will never go away
is the fact that from now on
i can't overcome myself to believe you
not anymore...

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
12:26 AM

whats happening man?
lots of people around me
getting emotional and all
hannah said i'm lame and free too
thats why i can spread the joy
but i guess it's not working

i'm sitting in class now
going to the Adventure Learning Corner later
to be frank, i'm all excited
well with a twitch of fear maybe
but still it's gonna be fun

took a photo
just to help me clam myself before the course
all excited!
From Left: Salihin, Wei Lun, Ru Ting, Me, Joyci & Sheryl


on the way back
on the see-saw
i'm coming back!


finally got it done
it's over!
a class photo of us
we got over & done with it!





Location d'Espoir -
maybe i can do it
just that i think i can't
perception; all lies within

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
2:26 PM

here's the truth

i'm the devil

materiality
material force
material temptation; sometimes obsession
a great card for business success;
hard work and ambition

perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana,
the Devil is not really "Satan" at all,
but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius.
these are gods of pleasure and abandon,
of wild behavior and unbridled desires.
this is a card about ambitions;
it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction.
on the flip side, however,
the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained,
someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious.
this, too, is a form of enslavement.
as a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive.
this is not to say a bad man,
but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist.
the important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn.
in most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.



Location d'Espoir -
everyone is a genius at least once a year
real geniuses simply have their bright ideas closer together

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
11:37 PM

this cheered me up 3am in the morning

"Hi every body i'm back. . ." - Nelson Lam

right this moment
i'm smiling...



Location d'Espoir -
To be stupid, selfish, and have good health
are three requirements for happiness
though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
4:25 AM

fuck am i getting lazy these days
but i getting the mood swings that i hate most
i use to think only girls have them
but now they are getting onto me

i just came back from Orchard
with Cam Fishball Hannah Joel Joachim
watach Forbbiden Kingdom for the 2nd time
and i know that the 3rd will come
as soon as Nelson's back that is

a misfit following a misfit
searching for a misfit
in hope of rescuing a misfit
i'm too bored and lazy to think now
i need nobody and nobody has to be somebody



Location d'Espoir -
a misfit following a misfit
searching for a misfit
in hope of rescuing a misfit

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
10:47 PM

i needed the gathering
haha we were all missing out on one another
really enjoyed myself that day
caught up with everyone

"long time no see" says Jun Quan
i guess we'll say that again
the next time we meet up



Location d'Espoir -
friendship, a silent agreement
unwritten; just full force willingness

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
2:54 AM

it's been hard on me lately with 2 of them gone
i'm just wondering around town everytime i feel bored
lucky my work kept me occupied during my weekends

recieved alot of nagging lately
from parents...
well everyone else seem to have something to say too
getting drunk
having friends over night
i'm dead meat if i get caught doing any of those again
for sure...

a simple reason made someone very happy lately
"you are not my friend,
you are my brother..."
will never forget the smile on his face when i said that

People will always change
in fact we are ever changing
but the feelings we have for someone
will always stay the same...
as long as the feelings for one another remains
nothing significiant will change...



Location d'Espoir -
Giving one the answer to every question asked
is like cheating in life
sometimes one just have to find these answers themselves...

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
4:03 PM

appreciation for youth olympic games 2010 singapore
that night was fun =D




Location d'Espoir -
i saw a baby
the first word that came to me "RUN"
we are always running towards something
or away from something

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
4:37 PM

Nelson's left for Taiwan
Gerald's in Army
I'm all alone with school started
God Bless Me!

I'm doing this randomly...

10 "About Meself"s

i. The biggest misconception other people often have about me is that I'm stupid...

ii. Life is never perfect, neither is it fair. There are many things that we cannot choose in life, yet, we choose to tell ourselves that we have the power to choose. Either way we are right...

iii. Learn from mistakes, take home lessons, reflect and ponder upon them making me a better person by day. It did not kill me, so it only made me stronger...

iv. Life is beautiful, so are the people around us. Alot of them all we have to do is to pay more attention, show more respect and have more appreciation...

v. Live life to the fullest each day. For yesterday is history, written on a piece of paper; Today is a Mystery, waiting to be painted; and Tomorrow? You never know...

vi. Sucess is a journey, not a destination. Should I achieve something without facing any obstacles or challenges, it shall not be an achievement I am proud of...

vii. Giving in Just isn't my cup of tea...

viii. Never question where I am in life, for there will never be a real me that stays stagnant in life for a single moment...

ix. When oportunities come, rest assured my hands and feet are all into it...

x. My Brothers are my Source of Life, Entertainment, Leisure and any other terms that has got to do with FUN...



Location d'Espoir -
Dignity consists not in possessing honors
but in the consciousness that we deserve them

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
2:27 AM

lying on my bed again after yet another mahjiong session
in my mind it going
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL AWAKE?
coz it's school for me tomorrow!
yay! school =.=

at least i won 46 bucks
cab fare home was on me though
anyway yay i won =D

has steamboat today
wasn't really that great too
still wondering where can i get cheap and good food
well i'm on a budget lifestyle recently
overspent lately so must save back
running low in supplies haha

tomorrow's june's first day at work too
well lets hope she stays put in this job this time
at least until she finds better opportunities
all the best!

okay my eyes are getting heavy
off to bed i guess
goodnight all =D



Location d'Espoir -
fortunate families are always similar
but unfortunate families
will always have their own unique difficulties

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
3:06 AM

have been staring at my computer screen the whole of today
how unhealthy but ya
7 hours of non-stop gaming cabal sea
just when i thought i am game addict no more

as a stare out the window
the clouds are at still shifting
it rained, shined and now?
it's getting dark outside

men are not born to be defeated
men can be destroied, ruined
but he shall never be defeated
but today, i lose the battle with boredom

school starts next week
it would be a whole new semester ahead for me
school life kicks off once again
life still goes on
i looked at the class rooster
i see some familar names
it feels good to know that pple you know are there to stay
nevertheless, there are strangers

strangers today they may be
but as soon as it would be
friends will be made
laugther will be shared
and joy will be spread
a whole new semester ahead for me indeed



Location d'Espoir -
men are not born to be defeated
men can be destroied, ruined
but he shall never be defeated

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
6:52 PM

i'm struggling...
with my Final Year Project!
argh! still brainstorming about it anyway

Here's some photos from 3 days back
a small gathering of secondary classmates
had lots of fun though =D


From Left: Me, Wei Zun, Audrey, Cheng Yi, Chor Peng


From Left: Chor Peng, Me, Wei Zun



Location d'Espoir -
forgetting someone you love
is like trying to remember someone you never met

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
1:46 PM