i don't wanna talk
if it makes you feel sad
and I understand
you've come to shake my hand
i apologize
if it makes you feel bad
seeing me so tense
no self-confidence
but you see
the winner takes it all

BUT TODAY I WIN =D



BIG City Life!!!
sometimes i lose bad
but at times i win big!!!

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
9:41 PM

huat ar!!!
chinese new years' coming to an end
and i'm still collecting red packets
haha thats good ar

time has been kind on me these days
it's passing at a rate where
i find myself enjoying the little moments in life
and less of the misery of being bored alone
guess everyone has their fair share of life

finally i get to enjoy a long weekend
taking off than ma tmr
the idea of not stepping into camp on monday
mmmmm... mama mia! haha
oh well i worked my ass off for these offs
and i rightfully claiming them tmr!!!

WHAT A WEEKEND!!!
saturday was the best la
slept through the morning and early afternoon
after a night of winnings at jeremy's house on friday
spend the evening having another family reunion dinner
it was the 7th day of the lunar year, so happy birthday everyone :)
and night was ktv and drinks celebrating my cousin's birthday
for which i really dunno whether i regret the drinking part
at 4am i find myself in a room with 3 drunk ladies and 1 dead drunk army boy
oh shit i told myself

sunday started off with disappointments
had to cancel the in between session
coz most of the peeps couldn't make it
and edward broke the news to me!
he can't make it coming friday for our genting trip
thats after i smartly bought the bus ticket :(
oh well, i'm still working on getting jordan to take his place
gotta feeling it's working though lol
still the call is jordan's to make haha
afternoon was meet up with alfee and gang to celebrate his birthday
everyone was late (that's as usual)
but we ended up getting his birthday present at top man
having some simple lunch at pasta mania
and finally, yes thank god finally, we watched Percy Jackson & the Lightning Thief
not too bad ar...
as the night fall came
it was to holland road to bai nian at the owner of bangawan solo's house!!!
haha got big red packets there ar
the best thing was i managed to sing a song in exchange for bird nest
where to find such deals haha

For ALAN NGOI
i've never met anyone as steady as my brother here
we just met last saturday at double and
this week when i invite him for another trip there
he cancelled his meetings with has friends
swapped his duty and was all really for it

sorry brother last minute cancelled the double o plan
thanks for everything man
we'll be there again soon i promise :)



BIG City Life!!!
ANYONE WANNA GO GENTING THIS FRIDAY??? haha

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
12:55 AM

wad an aimless day today
while not saying that i din have fun though
haha

looking forward to 3 weeks of consecutive clubbing at double o
hoping everyone i asked along will turn up that day :)



BIG City Life!!!
life sucks when you noe you're on duty tmr... haha

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
10:28 PM

a not very willing post that will definitely interest all the people that go clubbing and drinking with me... lol

title: ONCE IN A LIFE TIME (tactically it means this will ONLY happen once)

remember the day i got the hangover?
haha once in a life time man lol

well, everything started quite nicely you noe... haha



everyone looking good :)
till the drinks came... lol
bad mood + empty stomach = massive disaster...
got it brothers haha

wad a once in a life time experience
i noe i will never get that again after this

more clubbing definitely
you noe the saying that goes something like
if you are a lousy drinker den the only thing you can do
is really to start drinking more! haha
time will train you into a better drinker
it's proven trust me haha

continue to enjoy ur NEW YEAR peeps!



BIG City Life!!!

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
9:35 PM

Happy New Year :)

its chinese new year once again
wad i like about it more the fact that i get red packets
is that its a time for reunions and new blessings
as well as a time for forgiveness and thank yous
so much so that i have decided to delicate this entry
to some special people that i really have to say some special thank yous to
i'm really hoping here that i do not miss anyone out
trust me i'm going through my contacts whilst writing this
oh and i'm just name the closer ones here
so dun go around laughing at people should they not appear in my list k :)

to my brothers, sisters & family friends
family: Mom&Dad, MelvinChan, ChanelChan, VianJiang
- i can count on coming home each day and see your smiles
it just makes my day alot brighter

brothers: GeraldLucifer, NelsonLam
- thanks for always being there for me and standing by me even when i make mistakes at times. i noe i'm not the best brother you guys can have but i'm really doing my best and i really hope i'm not disappointing you guys.

familyfriends: NancyTay, JuneTeo
- it's already so common to see u guys at my place. trust me you guys are treated like family already. thanks for always helping out with things at home :)

to my dearest friends i've known since my secondary days
AudreyLow, CheeWen, JacksonGoh
- time really flies. we all have grown up and have a slice of life we all deserve. i really appreciate the time and effort all of you put in to meet up with me and have fun. to audrey, thanks for always inviting me to clubbing. even if it's not your birthday we still always end up having lotsa fun. to jackson, thanks for the mahjiong sessions. anytime for you man, always remember that. to cheewen, the small boy has grown up to be an officer already. dun play play ar. brother all i can say is we'll meet up soon dun worry haha.

to the people i missed hanging out with since poly days
yrOnes: Alfee, Eanti & Line
- i'm really sorry i haven been asking you guys out. i definitely will this time round. i'm hoping to see u guys at my place tmr! really miss the hangouts at orchard and i haven got my photos from our last meet up at shaw tower tcc.

yrTwos&Threes: Sheryl, Joyci, Andrea, ChunZheng, QuanLong, YuLin, Edward
- my deepest apologies for not being able to find time to hang out. more importantly i find myself on duty on days sheryl do ask me for a gathering. i really hoped i could be there. thanks for everything since poly days. until now i believe my poly days wouldn't have been so fulfilling and wonderful if not be you guys.

to my juniors i've known since my secondary days
bnss: ChanWei, MingSheng, ZhengYun, Mandy, LinHo, WeiJian
- even though my mom hates you guys for messing up my house on MingSheng's birthday, but i really enjoy hanging out with all of you. Miss the mahjiong sessions and times we would spend in ZhiHan's house. I know now its harder to get everyone together, as least thats wad LinHo & I always feel when we try to plan something, still i really am hoping for another gathering soon!

bnssBBall: WeiJie, QuanLiang, HoongKit, JunXiong
- i know now we seldom meet up except for the occasional mahjiong sessions at shawn's house. still, thanks for the company at weird hours of the day. and i promise we'll find time for another session soon :)

jyss: ChunYang, Jeremy, ZiMing, YiMing, Terence, Ivan, LiangJie
- i really appreciate all the efforts in organizing the gatherings. the meals and mahjiong sessions always keep me great company and provide me with great joy and laughter. althought the habit of always being late makes me feel as if time did not pass since secondary school days but still trust me when i say i'm enjoying every minute of it.

to my dear camp mates at SAFAC GSAB PAD
DCC: Joeven, JiaHao, NicholasWu, AlvinGoh, Viresh, DaveTeng & my beloved upperstudy who ORDed, DicksonKoh
- i can't really thank you guys enough. i hope you guys understand that sometimes at work, due to exposure to stress environment i tend to be not me in these moments. do forgive when i'm having such moments. i really appreciate how all of us spend time having fun in the midst of work and that always make me feel proud as part of the dcc team. to joeven & alvin, thanks for the walks down to the cook house and the drive homes. really appreciate the fun and laughter you guys inject into the group. to jiahao, i noe i can be hard to understand at times. but dun worry too much about it when it comes to work you can always trust me to be there to help out. to viresh & dave, thanks for the guides and ah lau session in the morning. to dickson, i really can't thank you enough. the effort you put in to make sure i noe wad i need to noe before you ord is amazing and i really appreciate the lunch and lemon tea you would buy back for me whenever you go out to eat with the rest.

DIST: JordanLo, Aashvin, KadenPhua
- trust me when i say you guys make my day in camp. alot alot alot of times. dcc to me has an anchor of being a stressful environment, it's a place where i can't get some relax time or quiet time. but everytime i walk pass one of you, especially when aashvin does something funny and dramatic, it always brightens up my day a little. to aashvin, continue to do wad you do best. all the drama is quite entertaining you noe. haha. to jordan, thanks for putting up with all the crap and the random msgs at weird times that most of the time disturbs you when you are resting. forgive me for that. still i really do enjoy the hangouts, meals, drinks and desserts we have. to kaden, i remember how jordan keep saying that you're a nice guy and ask me to ask you out too. now i noe this for a fact myself and dun need jordan to remind me anymore. haha. thanks for always being so nice and never fail to put up a smile on your face.

ClusterOne&Two: DamianTan, GlenNew, GywnChan, NicholasTan
(and all sect coms who helped out in the i know very tiring at times TOs)
- guys, thanks so much. to some pple, the fact that you guys are in cluster means you guys have to do the ground work. it's fated. but to me, i see your job as the most admirable. it's not easy to do wad you guys do. i'm doing my best to let the tension between cluster and dcc relax a little and i hope you guys can feel it. sorry for letting you guys have the impression that seeing me means got something bad. to damian & glen, thanks for the times you guys stood by me and helped out with alot of last minute things. i noe somehow i always look for you guys when there's shit. still i hope you understand that is because i know i can trust you guys and have faith in your decisions.

to my passionate and dedicated coaching friends
BenjaminOng, Amin, JulianOng, DeJun, CamillusOng, YuYuan, JiaYu, CherylLiew, BryanBay, LiFen, Kristy, Kyrie, Theresa, AnHong etc etc etc
- thank you guys for everything in the pass year. everytime i'm around i can always feel the place filled with so much fun and laughter. camp's gonna be boring if not for you guys. to those who drive in this group, thanks for putting up with my ridicules requests about driving home and out to places. i will get my license sooon not to worry.

###

on a lighter note...
thanks guys for everything you guys have done. each individual have made a difference in my life and i appreciate all the good times, as well as bad times, we had with one another. it is through such great times that i learn to trust and love the pple around me and through the bad times that i learn impt lessons on many many aspects in life. thank you for playing your unique part in shaping me into a better person and certainly can't thank you guys enough for the contributions and efforts you guys have put in to maintain this relationship.

it's chinese new year, so let me wish you and your family a prosperous new year ahead. may all your wishes come true in this new year.

WHO YOU ARE MAKES A DIFFERENCE
trust me, you did in my life :)

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
9:18 AM

like i said gerald can turn out to be an inspiration at times

oh well i'm officially lost for words
it's the new year, well the eve of it
i'm suppose to be having fun
in fact all of us should be
so as long as everyone's happy with their life
i just i should be too haha

and to the people that i disturbed through msn and sms last night
sorry man had a little too much to drink
feeling abnormally high too
so ya have fun guys this chinese new year!



BIG City Life!!!
i dunno wad some pple are thinking
so FUCK them
i have other things and better friends to attend to

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
3:38 PM

this is indeed a rare feeling
today is the kind of day i'm feeling very relaxed
very carefree
fuck the troubles, screw the worries!!!
haha... just have fun walking around, doing shopping

the day started off with joeven picking me up at my house
that meant that i din have to take the bus
get stuck in the jam all the way to camp
that started the day in the right course

next the officers decided to make my day better
by appealing to higher authorities to let us go on off in the afternoon
well of coz which i did and yeah that was great
it was shopping the whole afternoon
visiting joeven's abalone shop
slacking at maple slap creamery
have desserts and tea at ministry of food
wow just in short a hell of a great time

i found a great way to spend my week nights next time
bugis suddenly seem so appealing after i joined membership at MOF today
movie at iluma, go kino get books den dinner + desserts at MOF
WOOHOO!!!~ getting excited already!!! haha

now? i'm just being very random
not moving in sync neither according to the rhythm
oh and i'm being punished now
for not being able to decide wad to do in the night
clubbing was cancelled
thanks to damian who backed out, mahjiong was too
and can't find anyone to head to the ktv
haiz shit happens la ya haha



BIG City Life!!!

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
10:33 PM

for some reason i fell in love with this song...

###
Need You Now
by: Lady Antebellum

picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor
reachin for the phone cause I can't fight it anymore
and I wonder if I ever crossed your mind
for me it happens all the time

it's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
and I don't know how I can do without
i just need you now

another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door
wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before
and I wonder if I ever cross your mind
for me it happens all the time

it's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
and I don't know how I can do without
i just need you now

guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin at all
it's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now
and I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now
and I don't know how I can do without
i just need you now
i just need you now
ooo, baby, I need you now



BIG City Life!!!

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
6:27 PM

for all the times i tell myself and others tmr will be a better day
it's just not happening this time

camp has been tiring and frustrating all at the same time
i'm not use to know understand what others are thinking
i'm not use to not being able to work with others
but it's all happening...
but even is even all the stepping all over me
all that bullshit has to stop
i swear i have my limits too

i find myself feeling so lost and confused
it makes me feel bad not being about to help
but it's so much worst when i do my best to yet things are not improving

at the end of the day i just wanna know that i did my best



BIG City Life!!!
just talk to me when you want to...

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
9:18 PM

no more clubbing when i'm not in a good mood...

THE TRUTH IS
i dun remember how i got home yesterday
and that sucks :)



BIG City Life!!!
wasted... hangover... FML

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
2:24 PM

FRIEND (adjective)
the word describes the following:
1. FRIEND means no asking
2. FRIEND means no reasoning
3. FRIEND means just believing

more importantly...
4. FRIEND is that who never believe in the last 3 alphabets of "FRIEND"

###

i need some air
i'm not sure wad's going on
but i noe someone must do something to fix it

its a tiring day yesterday doing duty
and it wasn't as enjoyable
as i thought i would be today
at least up till now
too many things happening
and i wasn't ready for it

that sucks...
but i'll handle all those after my rest :)



BIG City Life!!!
i hope i'm not trusting the wrong person here...

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
7:09 PM

it doesn't interest me wad you do for a living
i want to know wad you ache for
and if you dare to dream for wad your heart's longing

it doesn't interest me how old you are
i want to know whether you will risk looking like a fool
for your dreams and adventures of being alive

it doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon
i want to know if you touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shriveled and close from fear of further pain
i want to know if you can sit with pain
without moving to hide it, fade it or fix it...
i want to know if you can be with joy
if you can dance with wilderness and let ecstasy fill you
without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic...

it doesn't interest me if the story you're telling me is true
i want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself
if you can bare the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul
if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy
i want to know if you can see beauty even if it's not pretty everyday
and if you can source your own life from its presence
i want to know if you can live with failure
and still stand at the edge of the river shouting 'YES'
to the silver of the full moon

it doesn't interest me where you live or how much money you have
i want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire
with me and not shrink back

it doesn't interest me where or wad or with whom with you have studied
i want to know wad restrains you from the inside when all else falls away
i want to know if you can be alone with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep in these empty moments



BIG City Life!!!
it's not who's gonna let me
but who's gonna stop me...

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
7:43 PM

it's 12.20am
less than half an hour to my last post
but a random click on facebook made my day

marx comment on facebook:
"never make the same mistake twice.
they are so many new ones,
try a different one each day!"



BIG City Life!!!
whenever we are uncomfortable with something,
whenever we're getting frustrated, tight, worried or even angry,
we're provided with an awesome opportunity to grow...

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
12:21 AM