yay! finally i have enough coaches!!!
thats' like a HUGE rock off my heart
haha even the air feels much fresher now
ok maybe not since i'm in an aircon room

haven slept for 2 days
wa so sleepy in school today
plus the sports management problem
was mind cracking
dunno die how many brain cells
just to tackle one problem
had to come out with a Marketing Plan in 4 hours

nevermind, i pulled through
thats all that matters
what fail to kill me
only makes me stronger right?
classic...

everyone else's blogs are like dying soon
ok who am i kidding
they are more or less dead
ok if u guys are reading this
go update your blogs!!! haha

aiya haven really been talking
to my TWO of a kind lately
other than some causal sms
and exchanges of expression
just not much lah
i miss talking to him
and i mean heart to heart talks

my camp's starting this Thursday
it will be more late nights
and days at school missed for me

my friends at school
dun miss me too much kae!
but i'll miss you guys =D
melissa's laughter
wei lun's smaoking through presentations
ho thong's lames jokes
and everyone else !!!

i really hope everyone i invited
for the dinner this wednesday can make it
it's important to me ar
really ... really important



Location d'Espoir -
what may be small in your eyes
may mean the world to another

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
10:59 PM

a new coaching season
just started today
time really flies
before we notice anything
another season's passed

life is short
and passes in a blink of an eye
don't led astray
observe the world with an open heart
find happiness and good fortune

enjoying myself for the time being
work's starting soon enough



Location d'Espoir -
observe the world with an open heart
and find happiness & good fortune

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
10:15 PM

GLORY GLORY MAN UNITED!!!
GLORY GLORY MAN UNITED!!!

woohoo!!
Man United WON!!!

2 hours of hardcore soccer
90 minutes games
2 x 15 minutes extra time
went into Penalty Shoot Out

Man United won Chelsea
6 - 5 in the penalty shoot out

GLORY GLORY MAN UNITED!!!



Location d'Espoir -
it's a time for celebration my friends
we are the champions!!!
Man United holds the CUP!!!

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
5:44 AM

work is piling up on me lately
maybe i took too much time off
my to-do list to enjoy life recently

school. projects. work stuff.
having some difficulties lately
the few days breather was indeed ESSENTIAL

have a huge mood swing today
didn't have enough sleep
pressure from my FYP advicer
and a tight date due to meet

couldn't find anyone to empatize my situation
couldn't find anyone to hear me out
i needed a listening ear
very very very much need one



Location d'Espoir -
sometimes all we need
is a little more appreciation
a little more attention
and a little more respect

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BENJAMIN ONG !!!

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
11:59 PM

it's true
no one knows you better than yourself
no one can make you happy
if you dun choose to be happy
no one can sadden you
like you can to yourself
i hate to say this but it's true

so much ups and downs
makes life really hard to go through sometimes
so much difficulties and uncertainties
makes life really undesirable sometimes
so much love and hatred
makes life really unfortunate sometimes

but at the same time
it is these factors
that makes life as wonderful as it is
that makes life as dear as it is
that makes life as beautiful as it is

maybe truely all we need
is to take time to realise

yesterday is history
written on a piece of paper
today is a piece of canvas
waiting to be painted
and tomorrow is a mystery
waiting to be unveiled

but never can i wake up one day
thinking that my friends have all gone
that would be very scary, very very scary
they can make a horror movie out of this

it is our friends that we can count on
to make what life already is
alot better or for that matter
alot worst
that's why real friends are important
they stand by you
they are there for you

they may not understand you
like you do about yourself
they may not be able to cheer you up
as fast as you can
as long as you choose to
but they will also do their best
for they need no other reason
just that they are your FRIENDS



Location d'Espoir -
friends are my only assets in life
that will never be given up upon
for they will always be remembers
no matter what, where or when

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
6:23 PM

it's a busy day ahead...
now at Bedok North Secondary coaching
my own secondary school
haha.. so fun to see alot of
people i know still in the school

my whole day is planned out
so are my weeks ahead too
it will be lots of planning
lots of paper work
and lots of reasearch to be done
projects, camps and my own life

doing my best to draw a dividing line here
still struggling to manage the edges

might be meeting Joachim later
see where Lovell (my god son)
want go first
he's ending school soon
thats all i know... haha

tonight giving tuition at Nicholas's house
cannot keep pushing back liao
i guess there are times in life
that you just have to sit down
do work get things done and over with

as much as i love my days to be planned
and not have to think about wad i will be
doing later in the afternoon
too much is just too much la ar
let's be realistic
there's a point where
we all must learn to draw a line
learn to know our limits
like wise, to overcome our fears



Location d'Espoir -
the key to realizing a dream
is to focus not on success
but significance -
and then even the small steps
and little victories along your path
will take on greater meaning

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
12:35 PM

yay i'm finally home!
just came back from school =D
speaking of which
i'm starting to realise
how lost i will feel
without this new clique in RP

so i decided to tribute this blog
to the people i usually miss out

first up... Zhong Yi
he is the aka AhPek or
bka Mat Pinoy guy
basically he looks really cool and all
should he be 5 years younger
than wad he looks now
erm, he's my new found bully subject
cause he always gives me the reaction that
i just love getting when i disturb him
makes me laugh in my mind

oh sorry if i'm sounding weird here
ok maybe i just use the word
sorry if i'm sounding gay here
just bear with me
those who know me better
would know i'm like that around
people i know i can trust and
i call them brothers =D

ok when i ever serious??
maybe only when i am angry
or coaching den serious... haha
moving on...

speaking about trust
here's the next guy
Matthew aka Horse or
bka The Backstabber
i just can't stop myself from
disturbing him with my words
he looks really funny when he gets angry
well what i conclude from him is
when he just wake up
that period of time he very blur
when he is awake
he can be very fun to be with
but when he is sleepy
he simply just ignores me
better not just vends anger towards everything
but still, dun worry ar
i love him deep deep
(never say this later he angry again =D)

kk i noe i promised to only talk
about those i rarely talk about
but i just can't help putting down
Camillus's and Joachim's names

i just 'fucked' Camillus in the train
while coming home
dunno why i'm feeling guitly
and sorry now
which normally would not be the case
but i know that afterall
he knows i care for him
so no worries on him getting angry

see la how not to talk about
my TWO of a kind brother ar
he and his stupid remix
haha but it's always fun
with him around
ok or emo-ing for that matter
still, he will always always
be my TWO of a kind brother
Joachim Tan De-On!!!

okok off to bed...



Location d'Espoir -
each day is a new canvas to paint upon
make sure your picture
is full of life and happiness
and at the end of the day
you don't look at it
wishing you had painted something different

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
11:13 PM

i'm feeling very tired now
falling asleep as i walk
lucky Camillus was there
but i do not regret
waking up for breakfast today
never regret what i chose
most importantly, i'm happy that i did

seriously needing a break
just a short one will do
just something i can draw energy from
work is overloading
life should never be about only working

i need a break
my skype says
a cozy place
some real drinks
with people i call brothers
an excuse to hang out tonight
4 phrase that means everything to me now

and NO! JOELL
I'M NOT ANGRY WITH YOU!!!
what makes you think so?
relax ...
we will always be brothers

this is for Matthew
(who is with me for
calling him backstabber)
brother! you know
i love you deep deep =P



Location d'Espoir -
brothers it shall be
life is not only about work!!!

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
10:06 PM

our lives will never truely belong to us
so does whats ours
will never truely be ours
we are all connected
by the people we know
by the environment we live in
even by our thoughts
thus we will never be free
this is what makes it so sad
this is what makes it so hurtful
but this is also what makes it so amazing
so wonderful, yet so dear

take a breath
make my dash
in my race till death

being emo does not means
you must that show that you are
but it does not change the fact that you are
i really can't hide anything from him, can i?

lets go for some drinks
a cozy place to chill
with people i call brothers
needing some attention
before i start my working month
or maybe it is just an excuse
to hang out again tonight



Location d'Espoir -
complicating simplicity and
simplifying complication
i prefer the later... you?

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
1:42 PM

i think this is quite true ar
as far as i wan to be there for everyone
maybe it's not possible
but it will never be the case
where i tuen and walk away
because i choose to

we are two of a kind
it still amaze me
how similar we can be

a tribute to the clique @ RP
that will miss me deep deep
when i leave next year
(that i'm very very sure =D)
FYI: bka means best known as

Camillus Ong aka Cong bka Flirty Fatty
Joachim Tan aka JoJo bka my TWO of a Kind buddy
Yu Yuan aka Fishball bka 'suck my balls' guy
Casey Wong aka ah girl bka Lesbian kia
Zhong Yi aka AhPek bka Mat Pinoy
Syed aka Ahbung Stomach??? <- Joachim say one
Matthew aka Horse bka Backstabber so be careful when he's behind
Joell Heng bka my personal bullying subject
Naqi aka Nationa Rugger
Hannah aka Banana bka Bitch =D


Location d'Espoir -
There is always some madness in love.
But there is also always some reason in madness.

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
2:56 PM

an interesting poem by David Feinberg
kinda cool ar...

I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three
The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine
For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic
I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality
When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three
As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer
We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands
Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed

HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY!



Location d'Espoir -
idleness is not doing nothing
idleness is being free to do anything

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
4:29 PM

it's been a long long day
at school. giving tuition.
celebrating Phyllis's birthday.
and partying at St. James.

oh which reminds me
PHYLLIS HAPPY BIRTHDAY ya?!
totally forgot to wish her

i personally think that
Joell did a splendid job
planning & executing the celebration
i really did

it's amazing how far one can go
just to please another
most importantly
to see my brother giving all his best
to make the girl he likes feel happy

Joell bro,
i know things may not have worked out
as well was what you planned
but you really gave it your best
no regrets indeed, true?
the rest of us will always
be here to lend a listening ear
and also share our thoughts
but we all always respect your decisions

here's the fun part of today
which really made my day too
the tag team with Joachim!
we did great right?!
but i still smarter of coz
oh and did i mention someone
acted drunk today
but he was really funny and cute still

it's amazing how we get to know one another
the even more amazing thing
is that we share almost the same thoughts
our character and personalities damn alike!
i just that really hit bullseye
for the criteria to be "Bros 4 Life"

St. James it was till just now
meeting Ah Boy Nelson
Alley Bar, Power House
Movida den Dragonfly
all around we went
looking for a place to have fun and club

well, still loves Zouk no doubts on that



Location d'Espoir -
life is not for you to regret
of what you have done
but is to live to your fullness
don't look back in the past
but look ahead
of what is coming into your way

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
4:43 AM

this is thanks to An Hong
pretty good candid shot i believe
well, i know i can always
count on him to do some shitty to me


ok this is Phyllis & Joell
and it's Phyllis's birthday today
bringing out a point here
and you guys know wad i mean



Location d'Espoir -
when love's great, it's really great
when love sucks, it really sucks

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
11:35 PM

dragged myself up at 6.30am
just to go school for my final year project
ok and to have breakfast with Joell also
it was damn tiring lah

apparently i was late for my fyp meeting
like again?!
ok i dun wanna agrue
just smiled and hold my composure throughout
i just feel unfair for my team mates
who had to ride a bike under the storm
and take a $22 cab to school

Joachim & Camillus chao school today
i no school
so just tagged along
they meeting Camillus's BFF (supposed to be)
not to mention she acted
like she was his girlfriend
never really fancy these type of girls

went for Seoul Garden
and a movie next
What Happen in Vegas
pretty cool movie and funny too
though Joachim teared (not cry.. haha)
happy ending also like that siol
never mind lah Joachim will be Joachim

oh ya and i forgot about giving tuition
like so pie seh lah
promise Nicholas's mom den totally forgot
getting forgetful these days
ok shall not frame myself up further
confirm will remember this friday to go make up

i'm lying on my bed now
finally i'm home!
tired and all
forcing myself to get ready
school tomorrow still
pd/apd meeting too after that

Bong's birthday coming up
and nothing is really planned
thats making my day worst
with all his "i wan to confirm this,
what happened to that.."
and suddenly "tell you wad, hold it first"
brother make up your mind!

off to skype with Joell
he's having a headache planning Pyllis's birthday
loving someone sure isn't that easy
amen to what Joachim said in his blog
about things going well for Joell
god bless him indeed!



Location d'Espoir -
love comes in all forms
sweet ones involve lots of trust and commitment
sour ones has jealousy and all kicking in
spicy ones concludes the day on the bed
bitter ones never really have a great ending
still love often becomes the greatest thing
one ever persue in life

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
11:22 PM

this is interesting...
How to stay Positive when You Know Your Life Sucks!

1. Ground Yourself
- spend time on yourself for yourself
- self actualization

2. Look on the Inside
- focus on only positive things in life
- ask yourself questions that make you feel happy

3. Prove Negative Thoughts Wrong
- denial time!

4. Appreciate What You See
- find beautiful things in yourself

5. Determine Why Your Life Sucks
- identify and make a change for god sake

6. Get Motivated
- adam khoo's camp might help =D

7. Do Things To Pass Time
- go sleep, still got tomorrow to worry about

8. Think about Happy Memories
- frame yourself for a good experience

9. Don't Stop Yourself From Feeling The Joy
- simply just go have some fun la

10. Develop a Gratitude Journal
- blog and say thank you
- or thank god also can

11. Get Professional Help
- (no comments...)

okay i admit
i'm just bored here
lying on my bed
not knowing what to do next

time to disturb people =D
giving Joachim's 'chicky' smile
after his chicky meal lol



Location d'Espoir -
nothing worth doing is completed in our lifetime
therefore, we are saved by hope
nothing true or beautiful or good makes complete sense
in any immediate context of history
therefore, we are saved by faith
nothing we do, however virtuous
can be accomplished alone
therefore, we are saved by love
no virtuous act is quite a virtuous
from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own
therefore, we are saved by the final form of love - forgiveness

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
11:31 PM

haiya why i so forgetful ar
forget to pay school fees again
later MUST remember go pay
if not tomorrow dun nid come school le

i'm sitting at W1 level 1 now
waiting for the rest to come down
just feeling very relieved
after a nasty day at school
who wouldn't?! haha

i guess now must also
share my secrets with Camillus
he getting jealous liao... haha
i told Joachim and Joell
but not him, guess i understand how he feels

and Hannah says Joachim sound
at if he's talking to a girl
when he talks to me
"u bring out the sweet side in joachim,
i swear.. haha" she says
dunno to take it as a compliment or wad
haha never mind just stay positive

i'm crazily happy now
i'm awfully tired too
i need a good night sleep
and a morning call too!



Location d'Espoir -
somethings need not be said
nor repeated...
e.g. we will be brothers for life

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
4:22 PM

argh! i really am losing my mind
what was i thinking man
well but its okay
i'm feeling better now

if a man cry because he bleed
you can call him a wimp
but if a man cry
because he felt something in his heart
he just became more human

i know that things will be better
because it has gotten this worst
since things are at its lowest
than the only way it can go is up

man i'm so happy now
for 20 years in my life
no one has ever been this truthful to me
i feel so lucky now
there are also friends that cheer me up
anyone that is willing to stay up
till 6am in the morning talking to me
i'll do anything for him

you don't belong only to yourself
there isn't anything in this world
that belongs to only yourself
everyone has connections to someone else
and shares something with them through these
that is why you can never be free
that is also why it is amusing, sad yet so dear

i slept the day through
a good rest indeed
i'm all refreshed
ready for anything

still have school tomorrow
means still have work to do
suddenly feel like screaming now
work!!! like again?!
okay... whats new... haha



Location d'Espoir -
friendship is made up of hearts
ready to give, share and understand
it never fades, it never ends
it reminds us that life is never perfect
without a great friend

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
6:54 PM

waked up only at 9.30am today
after Alfee msg to go for breakfast
so sorry man
still can ask him not to be late for school
when i'm not even going to class

sitting in library with Joachim now
gonna abit too late
if not can go for a movie
so guess we'll just have to be satisfied
playing the bunny game
you guys should test it out
http://www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal/g3/bells.htm

to convince someone
you have first convince yourself
i experienced this just now
i was so convinced that it's 2.30pm
when it's only 1.30pm
that even Joachim believed so
to the extent that he say
"no wonder my clock today funny"
dunno whether is i too clever
or he too blur... haha

skyping with Joell now
he's in class and i'm not
anyone any plans this weekend?
i'm all alone =D
malaysia trip cancelled
Joell and Yu Yuan got camp
Joachim & Cam got chalet
argh! bored...



Location d'Espoir -
to convince someone
you have first convince yourself

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
2:50 PM

1st of may is starting
with a somewhat tiring and emo note
i'm home now lying on my bed
just after the BBQ Gathering
at my place

was really tired at first
but it seems as the night gets darker
the more awake i became

after all this while
i forgot to take a picture with Joachim again
must make sure i take one soon

Joell's in front of me now
kinds emo-ing while
playing counter strike
talking to some girls in msn
but still keeping quiet
at one corner of the room
may he sort out what he needs to soon
and stop wearing his lollipop hood haha
cheer up lah kanasai!



Location d'Espoir -
i feel like smiling; i'm too tired
but it does not mean i'm not happy
i'm fine as long as it pleases you

sometimes if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more
1:48 AM